The ivory tower

From Wikipedia:

The term Ivory Tower originates in the Biblical Song of Solomon (7,4), and was later used as an epithet for Mary.

From the 19th century it has been used to designate a world or atmosphere where intellectuals engage in pursuits that are disconnected from the practical concerns of everyday life. As such, it usually carries pejorative connotations of a wilful disconnect from the everyday world; esoteric, over-specialized, or even useless research; and academic elitism, if not outright condescension.

I’ve got a Masters degree and write for websites about beer and video games. I’m a pretty regular resident of the ivory tower. I know this, though (hell, I enjoy it), and am able to recognize that sometimes games just aren’t for me (though ‘casual’ games can still appeal to a ‘hardcore’ audience). I’d like to think that while I am certainly farther down the rabbit hole than most people will ever go that I can still, I don’t know, relate to other people? (See? Don’t I sound like a condescending prick?)

Despite all of this, I’ve been known to say things like ‘If you want to buy Guitar Hero, you’re into games enough to own something besides a Wii’ (after seeing a guy load a Wii GH3 bundle into his car). The implication, of course, being that the Wii isn’t a ‘real’ console, or at least not one you can get by with owning by itself (and if Nintendo wanted to disabuse me of that notion perhaps they should get around to releasing a steady stream of decent games). And yet (and yet)…

This past Saturday I was at a surprise birthday party for my friend’s mom. I’ve known them since I was 2, but I wasn’t really acquainted with anyone else (at least not since I stopped thinking What’s My Age Again by Blink 182 was a good song), so my wife and I did our usual ‘hide in the corner’ wallflower routine that we’ve become so adept at. We eventually made brief small talk with some of my friend’s friends, and when she brought up The Beatles I jumped on the opportunity to add to the conversation:

‘They’re making a Beatles Rock Band,  you know.’

‘Really??’ (the second question mark was audible)

Most of the table knew about the game, so I wasn’t the one to drop the 09.09.09 release date, but then the unthinkable happened:

‘We’ll have to pick it up for the Wii.’

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!

These are people my age! They’re into the music genre: they were the ones to introduce my friend to Guitar Hero. And yet (and yet), here they are with only a Wii. Don’t they know they’re missing out on most of the DLC? The Wii versions have less fleshed out career mode, don’t they? They don’t care, though; or at least I assume they don’t, because I didn’t want to go Comic Book Guy on them and lecture about ‘crippled online’ and ‘poor third party ports’ and ‘shovelware.’

But then they continued.

‘Yeah, we just got Mario Kart.’

J’accuse!

Not three hours earlier I had audibly wondered who the hell was still buying Mario Kart this long after its release. These people. These nice, intelligent people. I do like the Wii, I do, but I haven’t been given much of a reason to turn it on since I spent far too much on Wii Fit and realized that the new Animal Crossing is exactly like the previous two Animal Crossings I’ve played. I know, Wii Sports Resort, but my time and money are limited and I’d need a second Wii Motion Plus, otherwise known as another peripheral that will probably be a waste of money .

I withdrew from the conversation before I exposed myself for what I am (an elitist, esoteric jackass) and consoled myself with a second bottle of Yuengling and conversation with my mother, otherwise known as the women who ran out of storage on her computer and asked if she needed ‘another memory stick.’

Oh, soft glow of the internet. You are my home.