Genre : Video Game
Developer: Electronic Arts
Players: 1-4 (though see below)
Retail Price: $10
Availability: Xbox 360, Playstation 3
I have two friends, John and Tim, who I’ve known since high school. When we get together, it’s generally to be dicks to each other and swear a lot. We have a long history of being dicks to each other and swearing a lot while playing hockey games, which is why I assumed 3 on 3 NHL Arcade would be perfect: we’re in Las Vegas, Fort Wayne and Buffalo now and so we can relive those NHL 01 ‘I thought you were covering the net!’ memories.
Well, sort of. The first thing we noticed as we tried to set up a game is that it appears that only two players can be in a game over Xbox Live. You can bring in guests, but if you’re not on the same 360 then it’ll be mano a mano. Additionally, you’ll be playing competitively, since it’s impossible to be on the same team unless you’re local. Fine, sure, we’ll trade off or something.
As Tim and I hopped into a game I noticed the default configuration mapped Shoot to the B button. I already went through the big ‘X is no longer shoot; now it’s Square’ revamp in the late 90s, so I’m not about to retrain myself unless it’s on the ‘analog stick only’ configuration all the kids are using these days. Once the game started I paused it and went into the settings. There are, evidently, two ways to do things in 3v3 NHL Arcade: their way or the highway. You can use the ‘button’ setting — B to shoot included — or you can use ‘pro stick,’ but that’s it. No remapping. Strangely enough, there was a welcome toggle to set the home team to always shoot up or down, so both players can have it their way. I’d have preferred a decent button configuration or true multiplayer, but I take what I can get.
Your 800 points has bought you exactly one mode: hockey. You can play with powerups on or off, but since you’re playing this for its arcade properties I’m not sure why you’d turn them off. Instead of playing the standard three periods, you play an endless succession of ‘20 minute’ (actually much shorter) periods until you reach a set amount of goals, from five to 20. It’d have been nice to be able to turn on ‘win by two’ for a heated game of deuce, but again: customization is, evidently, for Communists.
What little game there is fun, though, if you’re looking for a stripped down hockey experience. That’s not a jab; it’s one of the few sentences in this review that isn’t, so enjoy it while it lasts. There are times when you don’t want a simulation and just want to check some dudes, and this game does satisfy, in most respects. You choose your team from a shared pool of players, categorized as ‘All around,’ ‘Strong’ or ‘Fast.’ The players don’t matter, as far as I can tell (Crosby vs Iginla as All arounders), so it plays out similarly to Ice Hockey for the NES, with skinny, medium and fat players. Both the red and blue teams choose from the same list, and it’s not first-come-first-serve, so we had some hot Chara-on-Chara action for a few games.
The gameplay is focused on being nonstop, so in lieu of a faceoff the puck drops from the sky and both teams rush for it. The same happens if it goes out of play; after a goal it drops behind the net (though the other team can be waiting for it), and goalies automatically toss it out if they wait too long. Checking your opponents make color-coded powerups appear. Only the red team can activate red popups, but there are some — like the banana peel and turn-you-to-ice ones — that can be activated on yourself if you’re dumb enough to skate over them. You can enlarge your goalie, shrink your opponent’s, give yourself super speed or a harder shot, make your player become a giant or — in, I’ll admit, an interesting twist — give a player the ability to score two points with one goal.
Just when I thought that the game was overpriced and underfeatured but still fairly fun, the framerate decided to go on strike. At first there was some significant slowdown for a second or two, which was annoying but bearable. Then it slowed and didn’t restart. For essentially half of the game, we were playing in slow motion. I guess it was kind of cool to see myself use the ‘trick shot’ button to score in slow motion — it only worked once and was otherwise useless — but that’s what a replay option should be for. There’s no replay, for what it’s worth, but it’s one of the few things I won’t hold against them, since this is just an arcade release.
I’m not sure which should take precedence: the high price tag, lack of features, crippled online play, inability to customize anything or the horrendous framerate. The gameplay is fun enough when you’re playing with a good friend, but since you’ll likely be limited to playing with a friend, in the one gametype provided, that fun will probably be short lived. To add insult to injury, when you quit you have to click through an ad, similar to the ‘Buy the full game!’ ones found in trials, for NHL 2009. Even if you own the game and have a save on your hard drive, you see the ad. For 800 points, you can do much, much better.
